Thursday, October 28, 2010

What Ifs.....

In life, there are many "What Ifs..." that will flash across our minds. "What if I've worked harder", "What if I'm braver to approach him/her", "What if I've not done this/that..." etc.
The list goes on and on. So, have you ever stopped and really think why these "What Ifs" actually exist in the first place? What exactly went wrong?

But, not all "What Ifs" are bad. Sometimes, you'll start asking yourself "What if I've not done this....I'll still be...." I think I must be crazy to be actually thinking about all these kinda trivial matters. Let me tell you, find some time, sit down or walk around and just let these thoughts and questions run through your mind, you'll find that there are actually lots of things you've regretted doing, or have not do.

Many people have always probed about my personal life. During this year that is, after I've gained a very small portion of fame(?) through blogging. See, you all like to know about me right? HAHA! Kkies, so here are some thoughts of "What ifs..." questions that ran through my mind while walking around Tampines Mall, haha!

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1) What if I've not grown up?
Personally, this is the question that I ask myself almost ALL THE TIME. Many at times, I really do wish and hope that I've not grown up. This is the contradicting part, when we're young, we hope times pass faster so that we can grow up and do anything we want. However, when we really grow up and really start our life, we realised that it is not as beautiful as what we expected it to be.

Like one of the quotes "Life is not a bed of roses". My friend highlighted the other day "Even if it is a bed of roses, they actually have thorns". How true.

Come to think of it, toddlers and kids do not have it easy as well. They do fall at times, like literally. But what's different will be the way we actually look at things. Alright, just think, when we were young and when we fall, we do cry but we also pick ourselves up steadily and swiftly. After that, we just continue playing and smile brightly.

So, what exactly happened? Why can't we do that now? Do we see things in a much mroe complicated perspective? Ask me? I'll say "Yes". When we grow up, we tend to look at things in a much more complicated manner, some times, it's so much more complicated that we find ourselves facing immense stress.

So this leads to another set of questions. "Why is this so?" Is it because we've grown up? Is it a good thing? I don't know... Nobody knows in fact. It's always easy for people to say things like "Take it easy" or "Everything will be fine". Let me tell you all, it's NEVER easy to do it. Said is easier than done and the grass is always greener on the other side.

So, what if I've not grown up? I'll definitely be a much happier boy now.

2) What if I've not met those people around me that cares for me?
Honestly, I think I'll die very fast. It's either I'm damn fortunate or I've done enough good deeds in my previous life, because ALL my friends are like always there for me! They encourage me, they care for me and they are worried for me. In fact, all of them are like my siblings and some, are like real parents! People always use words lke brothers and sisters when they are very close friends etc.

For me? I really cannot differentiate who is close and who is not! Know why? I think every single one of them are very close to me, it's hard to differentiate. Without them, I think I will find it damn hard to actually go through my life man!

Let's just talk about haters. I do not know in what way I've offended those people out there but I have haters and I do rant to my friends. Their first immediate reaction? "What the fuck?! You will have haters one meh?! Crazy ar?!" See what I mean? My friends trust me so much. I am indeed very touched.

They will always give advice like "No need care lah! Who don't have haters?! Even those smart assess who just study also got haters. Lol" Or they will say "They jealous of your success that quite a number of people know your blog etc mah" Tell you, I LOVE THIS REASON THE BEST! Haha! Make me feel so shiok only :p

Alright, my point is that never allow me to be sad. They are indeed all angels in my life. I'm not a christian but, I do adore angels okay? Lol.

Back to the question: What if I've not met those people around me? Answer is simple: Just kill me then.

3)What if Love does not exist in my life yet, till I grow up and mature? (As in relationship kinda LOVE)
I suppose I MIGHT be happier(?) I don't know. I realised I've been experiencing lots of things which I don't think I'm ready to face it. When i say I'm not ready, I mean the consequences and not the process.

Being in LOVE is a great thing, I guess? I mean everyone says that too so, it can't be false. But, when things go awkward and all, you'll actually find that that's the worst stage of your life. We all have to go through this stage, bo pian. We learn through the different experiences but, can we take it? Can we get over it? How long does it take? All these are like the unknowns. It's scary.

Love brings both happiness and misery. So, what's your take on this question? I'm not gonna answer it. Lol, keep you all in suspension :p

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I think if I were to continue, I might not even be able to finish half of it even when the day I die. Indeed, sometimes it's actually heart-wrenching to even ask yourself all these questions and let emotions control you. But what is it you really want? We got to be very sure of this.

We only learn when we fall. Yes, it might hurt but it's part of life.
Start asking yourself today all the "What if....." questions. You might realise you've missed the greatest thing in your life or so.

p/s: HAHA! Been a long time since I wrote something this long and lengthy :p Do bear with it, it's all my real genuine thoughts.

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