Wednesday, August 1, 2012

BenVoda's Love-logy

How's your week everyone?
Today I am going to touch on the broad topic of "Love"!
I cannot say that I am an expert in this aspect, in fact I am definitely NOT, but just speaking from experience. From a total amateur to all the obstacles and troubles, and till now of who I am.

For most of us, we all start experiencing the feelings of love at around the age of 13-14 years. There will always be this very one guy/girl whom we always look forward seeing in school/tuition centre/around our house area etc. The feeling is just so sweet and you feel like you're in heaven. 

Thoughts then start to flow in our mind. We think of being together with that person. Think of all the things we will do together. Think of how we hold each other hands. Think of how we go to and leave school together. Think of all the possibilities that we could have together. 
Those are certainly a lot of thoughts for a 13/14 year old kid like us! 

But, is that Love? Or is that mere crush?
Come to think of it, what do we know about love back then? Nothing. 

We all have my own crush too who we look forward to seeing in school or best, strike a conversation with! That feeling is indeed indescribable. Of course, I do have the same flow of thoughts and I had the "I MUST BE TOGETHER WITH THIS PERSON" mindset. 

Reflecting back, I am actually thinking so because I am influenced by the people around me. 
Definitely we all have that one single person in our group who is attached way before us all. 
That's the main catalyst which sparks us to all want to have our own partner. 

We felt that not having a partner is just so not right because everyone else is having one. 
Thus, we are having a partner for the sake of having one. 
This is NOT love. 

You may argue now that "NO! I am serious about being with blah blah blah and want to have happiness!"
All I can say is that you've not seen the world yet to even say those words for you yet to understand it. 
(I will touch on this on a later part) 

Based on my own experience and reflecting upon it, I may have good feelings for the other party but it's really not exactly love. More of like mutual good feelings and we know we can depend on one another. 

Then what on Earth is this love thing that we've been trying to understand?
Let me tell you, love is something that we will NEVER get a full understand of it.
It sounds cliche, but its true, "If you can explain love, it is not love anymore". 

What I mentioned previously is really just about puppy love or love at first sight. 
Love at first sight should not even be linked to love at all.
Because we are simply just falling in love with what we see and not what we feel.
The only thing you feel at that point of time most probably is your heart pumping very fast, that's all.

Indeed, we all start from judging other's appearance, that is most probably what most of us do. 
Let's be upfront about it, nobody like things which are not as attractive compared to others. 
No matter who we are, we still judge from looks first. 

But claiming that you're in love just because you see a beautiful girl or a handsome hunk is so absurd. 
That's more of admiration and not love. That's looking up to the person and not love. 

Love really takes time to cultivate. 

You may not care about the existence of one another initially. 
You may not be bothered about the highs and lows of one another. 
You may not seem to think twice for one another's feelings. 
You may not even care a hoot about one another's effort. 

But guess what?

You end up missing one another when you're not there for one another.
You end up sharing woes and enjoying happiness together as one.
You end up compromising one another, and adapt the give-and-take attitude.
You end up appreciating all the small simple things that was done.

True love need not always start off being very sweet because who knows what will happen tomorrow?
A relationship which starts off crashing against all the rocks need not always turn out bad too. 

True happiness need not always be full of sweet memories.
 In fact, a relationship with no quarrels, may cause your relationship to be on the rocks instead. 
In order to really know happiness, we need some hardships. Quarrels and conflicts are inevitable, but they only make us stronger together, they make us treasure each other and appreciate each other more. 

At the end of the day, 
you'll realised that it is not the overall picture you see with your naked eyes that matter.
It's what you feel with your heart, it's what your soul experience. 

Why people get married? 
Because they know that they've been through all together and they can continue to do so TOGETHER.

Loving a person is not just all about possessing him/her.

It is about understanding one another. 
It is about thinking of one another yet not being possessive.
It is about sharing the mental burden together.
It is about willing to make changes, willingly, for the better but not for the sake of doing so.

Remember remember:
Your partner is not a trophy for you to boast about. 
Let the love be between you two and others will admire you. 

Don't have a partner for the sake of having one because (as cliche as it is, again)
There is no happiness under forced circumstances. 


  1. This post is totally one of the best and most meaningful ones you've done, I agree with everything you say, probably because I have first hand experience on what the word 'love' actually means. :)

    1. Ya I guess we must go through it before we really understand the real meaning behind everything :)

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